Laugh for a while a refresher's collection

Once Dharamender said in a Private conference....
"You know Guys, I have stopped chasing Girls, drinking Liquors and even smoking"
A curious Fan said "It means you've no vice now' Dharam: "None except one"
Fan : What's that ? Dharam : I have started telling lies.


A Lady MP said to Winston Churchill "Well Mr.Churchill, neither I like your Moustaches nor your arguments " Churchill replied "Rest assured Lady, you are not likely to come on contact
with either of them".

An young Woman from opposite party said to V.P.Singh "If you were my Husband, I'd have
poisoned your drink" Singh replied calmly " and I'd have gladly drunk it if you were my wife"

Once Rajkapoor said in an Interview "You know, I always try to act with Heroins half of my Age " Reporter asked "Why" "Well, It's only then she could act as my better half"

An Agronomist who has done Ph.d in USA & returned was taken to the Large Field for the benefit of Farmers. He asked a Peasant working in the Field. "Why Can't you use modren methods to improve Production?" Farmer replies " Sir, we do our Farming aas we learned from our ealders" Agronomist "...and you don't get even a Kilo of Grams from the Field"
Farmer:"What to say a Kilo Sir, not even a grain of Gram" Agronomist surprised and said "not even a grain! how?" Farmer "Because this is a Wheat Field"

Commedian Mehmood visited a Sweetment shop and asked "Give me 1/2 kilo Kalakand"
When he got it, he exchanged it for Jelebi and also after eating them started to leave the place.
Shopkeeper noticed and said"Hey Mister, pay money" "Why"said Mehmood, "for Jelebis"
"But those Jelebis I took againt Kalakand" " Ok,baba pay for Kalakand"Mehmood replied with hurt tone "but,Kalakand I had returned to you.I'm sorry you are confused"